When We Were Young
by TheRoadToTheLake
Summary: Hermione and Draco grew up together as childhood friends and developed a slight crush on each other. But at the age of 11, when Draco starts at Hogwarts, his father thinks it's time he learned the difference between Pureblood and Mudblood.
1. Remembering

We were almost 11 at the time when he told me; I remember it well. Like it was yesterday, in fact. But so many years have past between then and now.

_"Sssh," he whispers. "Please stop crying, Hermione," Draco begs. "I promise it'll be okay?" Draco rubbed my shoulder as I leaned my head on his._

_"How can you say that! We're not allowed to be friends anymore. I'm forbidden from Malfoy Manor and we cannot be seen together anymore! How is it going to be okay?" I sobbed into him._

_"We'll find a way!"_

_"No, we can't! I heard the way your father spoke of me! That I was a filthy little Mu-"_

_"Ssssh," Draco begs. "Don't say that! It's not what you are! You're my friend, Hermione."_

_I turned away from him and looked out the train window. "Does it matter?"_

_"Does what matter?"_

_"That I'm Muggle-born? And you're a pureblood? Does it mean anything?"_

_"No, Hermione. It means nothing."_

6 YEARS LATER...

I barely remember a time now when I didn't hate you. The past was so long ago that it doesn't even have an effect on my feelings towards you now. Now, all I remember are the moments after that day. The things you did to me. The horrible names you called me. But most of all, I remember how many times you lied to me. You promised me that it meant nothing. But from that moment on, it was all that really mattered.

"Hermione, whats wrong?" Harry asked, stuffing his face with chicken.

"Nothing, why?"

"You seem a little down?" He shrugged.

"Can you blame her? With who she got for head boy! I'd let the Whomping Willow have me instead of bunking with him," Ron said, sliding into the table and helping himself to some turkey leg.

"What are you on about? They haven't picked a head boy yet?" Harry said, slightly distracted as Ginny had moved in beside Lavender Brown.

"They just did, saw it posted in the common room!" Ron murmured, shoving as much food into his mouth as possible.

"Well, who is, then?" Harry bellowed.

Ron's head dropped slightly and he sighed. "There's your answer there!" he said, nodding towards the Main entrance. Draco Malfoy entered the Hall, and the Slytherin table cheered. I felt my insides clench.

"No," I whispered.

The Slytherin table cheered louder the closer Malfoy got. She watched him walk, and for the first time in years, looked at how much he had changed since they were children. He was taller-much taller-and his shouders were broader and more toned. He was slightly lanky in his stride but held himself well. He pushed his blond hair back out of his face and stared blankly ahead at the cheering crowd. His face was eerily pale. There was a slight sheen of sweat forming on his forhead. He looked worried...scared.

"Bloody git," Ron muttered under his breath.

"You can't be expected to share a room with him!" Harry protested, eyeing Ginny out of the corner of his eye as she moved next to Dean.

I was aware Harry was speaking directly to me, but my mind wandered back to Malfoy as he sat down in his usual seat at the Slytherin table. I was aware I was going to have to share a dormitory with him for the rest of the year, but all I was aware of at that moment was the look on Malfoy's face as he stared across the Hall.

"You should go talk to Dumbledore?" Harry suggested, assessing my condition.  
>"No, no, it's fine. I'm sure Dumbledore chose Malfoy for a reason. He must be up to scratch," I replied with a fake smile.<p>

"You''re really going to live with him? Hermione, you know what he is now? You know what he's become, we've talked about this," Harry whispered, leaning across the table. I shook my head in protest.

"Harry, you don't know that you can't base everything upon theory. You don't have proof that Draco Malfoy is a Death Eater," I protested.

"I know what I saw, Hermione!" Harry barked, rising from the table quickly. I rose to follow him, but Ron's hand caught, dragging me back down again.

"Leave him off, he's on edge with Quidditch," Ron proposed.

But I noticed that Ginny's hand had found Dean's under the table, and knew the reason for Harry's dismay. I smirked slightly.

"You okay, Hermione?" Ron asked, pausing for a moment.

"I'm fine, don't worry," I said.

"Can't you just sleep in your room instead of living with Malfoy?" Ron asked brightly.

"No, they've given away my room already. My things are in the prefects' room already. Malfoy's are probably already there now too," I said, picking at my dessert.

"You know, you could always stay with me and Harry. Sleep in one of our beds. I'd sleep on the floor and you could sleep in mine. I wouldn't mind. I just don't trust Malfoy not to harm you while you sleep. I wouldn't mind, really. I'd sleep in the common room with you if you'd like. Well, not sleep as in sleep sleep, but stay with you if you wanted company..." I watched Ron stumble over his words nervously. I smiled a little to myself.

"It's okay, Ron, I'll be fine. I trust Dumbledore decision," I stated, comforting Ron.

"If you say so. The offer is always open. Want me to have a word with him?"

I knew Malfoy could take on Ron any day. But I smiled reassuringly anyway.

"It's okay, Ron, I can take care of myself. Don't worry. I'm going to go to the library for a while. I'll see you and Harry at Hagrid's later, okay?" I said, exiting from the table.

Ron smiled in response as his mouth was too full with food to respond. I gathered my books and strolled towards the exit.

On reaching the top of the tables, I chanced a quick glance towards the Slytherin table. Towards the spot my eyes hadn't searched in many years. Pansy met my glance and scowled. I dismissed her mundane glance and turned to Malfoy, only to find he was staring at me also. I stopped almost too noticeably. His grey eyes held mine briefly, and I knew in that moment that he knew I was head girl and that we would be forced to live together. But mostly, I was aware in that brief second that our eyes met, that he remembered us. He remembered our lives, our friendship, and our crush, and when his eyes dropped back down to the table, I knew he would rather forget.


	2. Side by Side

Hey everybody. Sorry for the delay on updating but here the next chapter :)

Please Review?

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><p>The same day Dumbledore called me to his office. I wasn't at all surprised; it was tradition for Dumbledore to speak with the Head boy and Girl before they began their duties. I ambled through the corridors as I made my way to Dumbledore's office, trying to waste time before I would have to be in the same room as Malfoy. But I couldn't delay any longer.<p>

When I pushed open the door, I saw Malfoy immediately, leaning awkwardly against the wall.

"There you are Miss Granger," Dumbledore said happily, pointing to the seat in front of his desk.

"Do have a seat, dear." Dumbledore didn't comment on Malfoy standing back against the wall.

"Now as you know, this is a very important year for you …"My mind wandered back to Malfoy who wasn't paying attention at all. He stared blankly out the window, his face paler than usual.

"As Head Boy and Girl you will both be inclined to sign up for the Tutoring service we offer for those taking their O.W.L's. As it's their first real exam, some find it difficult to know where to begin…" Dumbledore continued and this time I followed word for word what he was saying.

"Your accommodation will be on the 6th floor. You will be given a password to access this accommodation. I'm sure you've noticed that your things have moved. They are on the 6th floor as we speak." Dumbledore laughed as if we hadn't noticed. Dumbledore continued on, informing us of our duties, rounds of the castle at night, and how to handle giving detentions.

"Miss Granger you may wait outside for Mr Malfoy, I just want to have a quick word with him. Then you can both go and sort your rooms out. Thank you Miss Granger and congratulations," Dumbledore excused me with a smile. I hopped up quickly from the seat and left with a smile, noticing Malfoy on my way. He had turned his attention towards Dumbledore. His eyes turning dark as he stared waiting for Dumbledore to address him.

I clicked my heels nervously as I waiting for Malfoy as instructed. I thought about just leaving but that wouldn't make a very good beginning to my duties. Malfoy came out of Dumbledore's office 5 minutes later with a sour look upon his face. His stared at me in disbelief, obviously shocked that I waited. He rolled his eyes and moved off quickly. I moved fast trying to catch up with him.

"Malfoy wait!" I called, staring down at my feet, willingly them to move fast. When I looked up I realized Malfoy had stopped abruptly and was staring down at me with venom eyes.

"Let's get this one thing straight Granger! I didn't ask to be Head Boy okay! Dumbledore thought it would straighten me out. And he must be having a great laugh now for matching me up with you of all people!" Malfoy shook with disgust.

"You don't bother me about any stupid Head boy duties that you can do yourself okay? I'll walk the rounds with you at night but other than that, don't bother me at all. You understand mudblood?" It wasn't that Malfoy's words had been new or I had been hurt by them or anything. I guess somewhere I was hoping he'd be civil to me. But deep down I knew that I had hoped that maybe he would consider me like he use to when he was younger. But time had stolen the memories that I held onto so hard. Life had stolen my old friend.

"Sure," I whispered back, my head hanging low. I stared at Malfoy's shoes as he turned to walk and I followed. To my surprise he walked slower to match my speed, and for a second we were walking side by side. But that was until students burst out of the classes for lunch and Malfoy fell back and disappeared amongst the crowds.

Harry and Ron were waiting for me at our usual spot.

"Y-u issd Otins," Ron muttered, shoving more food into his mouth.

"Don't talk with your mouth full Ron it's disgusting!" Ginny whined moving in beside Harry.

"You missed potions," Ron stated again when he swallowed the food in his mouth.

"Where were you?" He asked re-stuffing his mouth.

"I had to meet with Dumbledore. I told you like three times this morning Ron! Don't you ever listen?" I said. Ron - during the process of giving out to him for not listening- was not listening.

"Typically you're not listening!" I complained. Harry and Ginny started laughing. Ron continued eating contently, obviously to my anger. I helped myself to some pumpkin juice to calm my nerves.

My mind wandered absentmindedly as I drank. I heard a slight clatter in the back of mind and noticed a figure rising in front of me.

"Hermione!" Ginny said hurriedly. I snapped back, noticing I had dropped my glass and it had shattered shards of glass all over the table. I soared up swiftly from the bench slapping my hands down hurriedly to clean up the mess. I moaned out in pain as a shard of glass pierced through the skin on my index finger.

"Oh God Hermione, you okay?" Ron said reaching for my hand. His hand was cold on mine from grasping his own pumpkin juice. The temperature of his hand was familiar.

_ "Hermione? Oh I'm so sorry!" Draco whispered, grasping my finger._

_"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to drop it. Let me see?" Draco assessed the damage before bringing my finger to his mouth. To my surprised he put my finger in his mouth and licked away the blood._

_"I've got an idea?" He chirped, smiling. Draco took a small twig from the ground and scratched the tip of his finger. I didn't realize he had cut through until I noticed a small line of blood appear._

_"Draco what are you doing?" I asked, worried._

_"Ssh it's okay, give me your hand?" Draco leaned forward taking my hand and clutching my finger. He then took his index finger and pressed it against mine. Mixing our blood together. He smiled, his eyes lighting up._

_"Now we'll be friends forever._"

"Hermione what are you going?" Ron asked.

"I'm sorry," I whispered sucking on my finger, trying to clean up the mess. When I had dried the table with a simple spell I sat back down again.

"Your finger okay?" Harry asked, preoccupied with the little bit of pumpkin juice I had got on Ginny.

"Yeah, its fine, thanks," I smiled, pouring a fresh glass. The table settled down and Ron began eating again. I let my eyes wander to the Slytherin table to find Malfoy staring at me. Pansy had her arm draped around his neck, as she kissed his cheek. His grey eyes piercing mine. I put my finger back in my mouth and stared back. Malfoy's mouth parted a bit, his eyes glassing over. Pansy tightened her grip his neck and he snapped back, giving her a weak smirk of reassurance.

Ron put his hand on my shoulder as he told a story of me and him to Harry. I stared back at Malfoy as he stared at me. I thought of how things had changed. How different our lives had turned out. How much we used to have in common. Ron laughed, leaning into my shoulder for support as he and Harry clenched their stomachs in fits.

Malfoy simply nodded at me. A nod that could have meant a thousand things. Could have represented a thousand emotions. Instead of analysing it and wondering what he meant, I let go and purely nodded back in acceptance. To my disbelief when his head turned back to the conversation at his table, I thought I saw him smile.

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><p>Reviews would totally be helpful...is anyone even reading this? like at all?<p> 


	3. Thunderstorm

Hey guys, sorry for the huge delay between the last chapter and this one. I've been procrastinating with everything lately. But here it is. I'm working on the next chapter now aswell. Review if you like it :) 

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><p>That night I didn't see Malfoy in our room. His bed lay at the other end of the room. We were each given a separate bathroom and a joint living room. If Malfoy had come in I hadn't heard him, and he must have left long before I woke up. I didn't give it much thought though. I ignored him just like he ignored me. I tolerated him in class and shook off his glances in the library. Things were back to normal.<p>

"I heard there is going to be a thunderstorm today. No Quiddich training Ron," Harry said sitting down opposite Ron and I. Thunder and Lightning didn't particularly bother me…during the day time. But as a child it used to keep me awake for hours.

"What are you doing for the day Hermione?" Ron asked. It was Sunday. I had a Potion exam tomorrow that I knew I needed to revise for.

"We have a potions exam tomorrow Ron, Harry. Have you even opened the book yet?" I asked.

"There is plenty of time Hermione," Ron argued.

"While you two are having fun failing I'll be in the library for the day," I laughed making my way up from the table and towards the library.

The day passed quickly but I didn't get much work done due to the storm. It screamed and banged outside the library window all day, and when it got dark the storm got even more enraged.

The lights started to turn off in sequence in the library and I knew it was time to leave. The thought of trying to sleep through the storm worried me so instead of going back to my dormitory I went to find Harry and Ron. They sat in a circle with Ginny in the common room, eating different flavoured trick sweets they had purchased from Fred and George.

"Hey Hermione, get much study done?" Ron joked.

"More then you anyways," I boasted, sitting down next to Ginny. I sat for most of the night, laughing and joking until I couldn't put it off anymore. Harry and Ginny had left for bed when Ron started to doze off on the couch.

"Ron come on, wake up it's time to go to bed!" I said, picking him up from the couch and half carrying him to his bed. Harry, Dean and Seamus were snoring asleep when I went in. Ron plonked down on the bed and within seconds he was snoring. I pulled off his shoes and shoved him under the covers.

Walking back to the Senior Prefect Dormitory the storm didn't settle at all. I said the password and entered the dorm, stripping off quickly and jumping in to bed. I didn't even bother to check if Malfoy was there because I knew he wasn't. To my surprise I feel asleep quickly but was woken up an hour later by the sound of lightening hitting a tree outside. The noise increased as the rain belted against the window. I moaned in fright and covered my face with the pillow.

"Granger please I'm trying to sleep here. It would be a lot easier if you weren't crying like a baby over there about some little rain outside!" Malfoy hissed from the other side of the room.

"Malfoy?" I asked, sniffing deeply, wiping the tears from my eyes.

"You always were afraid of thunder and lighting," he recalled. I stopped, amazed. It was the first time since we were 11 that Malfoy had even acknowledged that we had been friends once. I turned over in the bed and stared over at him. The lightening flashed and for a split second I could make out his silhouette staring back over at me. I wiped my eyes again and buried my face into the pillow. It was the first time I had ever seen Malfoy in the Prefects Dormitory all year.

The thunder banged again and I let out a small cry.

"Oh God Granger please shut up I have Quidditch in the morning!" He complained. The wind whistled and there was a loud crash outside. I screamed in terror and hid, expecting the worse.

"Granger either shut up or come over here!" he said. I slid up from under the covers in confusion. Lighting stuck again and in the glow of the light I saw Malfoy holding up his covers for me. I was frozen in shock. Could he have remembered that time when we were 6? He must have. To my disbelief my legs carried me out of the bed and over to his. I slid in to the warmth of his bed and pulled the covers up over me. Malfoy moved to the other edge of the bed and sighed deeply.

"Can you do something to tame that hair of yours?" Malfoy asked taking my hair and pushing it over my shoulder.

"Sorry," I mutter, a little uncomfortable. The thunder rolls again but I feel much more safe than I did. I can smell him. He smells of earth. He smells just like he did years ago. A smell I thought I had forgotten.

"I can't believe you're still afraid of thunderstorms," He mocked, turning over. I listen as Malfoy begins to breathe deeply into the pillow. I wonder should I say anything. He's mentioned the past twice already. Is he trying to give me a sign that he's okay to talk about it. I chance it.

"I can't believe you remember," I whispered timidly. Malfoy seems to shift again, uncomfortably. I mentally slap myself for even mentioning it.

"Just because I haven't mentioned it in 6 years, doesn't mean I forgot," Malfoy retorts. His tone seems final and I don't want to push him. He doesn't move again but the gap between us seems smaller than ever.

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><p>Thanks so much for reading you guys :) Review if you liked it :) Love ye all :) I'll update soon I promise!<p> 


	4. Rounds

Hey guys, sorry about the delay. I know I normally take ages to update and everything but I'm just getting back into the whole writing thing and I find it difficult to get over my writers block. But I'm trying and I hope this chapter is good enough for you guys. Please review I want to know if you like it!

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><p>Chapter 4<p>

The light cascades in the window. The birds outside chirp in the winter air and I roll over to a cold patch of mattress. I bolt up awake and realize I'm still in Malfoy's bed. It's late. I've overslept. I'm late for my potions exam. I get ready to jump out of his bed when I catch his scent in the duvet. I freeze, gathering the duvet for a minute and just inhaling. Panicking I look around the room, making sure he's actually gone. The room seems abandoned. He didn't bother to wake me, probably punishment for last night. Gathering my thoughts I quickly put on my robes, leaving the room as hastily as I could. When I entered the hallway I was surprised to see students about. It was lunch time. To my distract I had slept through my first 3 classes. I sighed.

Ron and Harry had inquired to my whereabouts in potions. I merely shook them off, complaining that I had been sick all morning. They seemed to buy it without hesitation. After lunch I went to Snape with my lie about being sick and he set up a make-up test for me.

After I did Snape's test in the afternoon I focused on nothing but studying in the library. I didn't look past 5 feet in front of me when I was walking and I had a bird singing charm playing in my ears to keep myself focused. I didn't dare look around for Malfoy. I kept my mind focused.

When the lights of the library went low I made my way back to the prefect's dormitory to make rounds. Malfoy wasn't there as expected so I did the rounds by myself. It was cold, so I grabbed my heavy coat and gloves, combing a hand through my knotted hair. As I walked down the steps to hagrids house along the line of the forbidden forest - to make sure the third years weren't playing their dare games again - I heard a loud bang. Slightly into the Forbidden Forest behind a rather large Oak tree something apparated into the grounds of Hogwarts. It fell from a certain point in the air to the ground. Frightened as I was it was my job to monitor the grounds.

I moved quickly over the moss and undergrowth. What I found lying on the ground was something I could never forget.

"Get out of here you filthy little Mudblood!" He threatened. My heart sank down to my toes.

"Draco," I whispered in shock, noticing all the blood under his robes.

"Didn't you hear me?" He roared, turning over in pain. He lay pale and rigid on the ground.

"Don't move I'll go get Madam Pomfrey!" I said.

"No! Don't you understand! You can't tell anyone about this Granger!" He yelled, clutching his chest. He tried to stand but tumbled over back onto his side.

"Fuck," he moaned.

"Malfoy I have to get someone to help you, your bleeding heavily!" I tried to make him see reason. I looked around frantically for anyone, but since it was way past curfew no one would be around.

"Then you help me!" he moaned. He lifted his arm up for me to grab. I dived under it and lifted him up desperately trying to support his weight. I prayed my legs wouldn't give way.

I started to make my way back up the hill supporting him with each step.

"Not that way! Do you want all the professors to see me?" he growled.

"This way!" He ordered, half dragging me in the opposite direction. We entered the castle for a route I had never known about.

"Did you find this route when you were doing rounds?" I ask. Malfoy sniggered and ignored my question. I didn't know where we were going until we turned the corner near our dormitory.

"Malfoy I have to get you looked at," I said feeling his blood on the side of my robes.

"What happened?" I asked. Again Malfoy ignored my question and lead us into our room. I left him drop on the couch.

"Go to bed Granger I can take care of myself," He said unbuttoning his robes. I knelt down in front of him, helping him take of his robes and he seemed to be struggling. He groaned as I pulled it over his shoulder.

"Trying to get me naked Granger?" he smirked. I felt the heat rush to my ears. I wiped my brow with the back of my hand.

"Don't be ridiculous, I'm trying to help you Malfoy," I stated, removing the robes from his other shoulder. I undid his tie and unbuttoned his shirt. My actions were quickly and clumsy. Malfoy's eyes glazed over and he looked like he was going to pass out. My hands shook at the last button of Malfoy's shirt. It's not that I hadn't ever seen Malfoy shirtless before. We often went to the seaside when we were young. But I knew things had changed, that I had been almost 9 year ago. He was a boy then. Draco Malfoy was a man now. I opened his shirt and slipped it off him quickly, accessing the damage.

Just below his collar bone there was a deep gash. Malfoy hid away from me, curling his arms behind his back. Blood trickled out of the wound. My heart pumped even louder as I stared at the blood. My stomach churned. It was dried in all over his chest and stomach. His face was as pale as ice. Malfoy took one look at my face and shoved me away.

"Granger go to bed okay! I'll take care of it." He stood up quickly, stumbling slightly before making a shaky attempt towards the bathroom. I went to follow him but he locked the door.

"Malfoy, let me in. I can repair that cut easily," I shouted through the door. I heard him laugh. I waited impatiently outside the door as Malfoy moved around inside. After 23 more breathes I heard a loud band.

"MALFOY?" I screamed. Nothing. I grabbed my wand and bellowed "Alohamora!"

I found Malfoy passed out – pale and sweating- on the floor.

"Draco!" I cried, shaking him roughly. I whispered the incantation to fix his cut and grabbed a cup of water, throwing it over his face. He jolted awake, but lazily lay back down again.

While he lay limp and lifeless I cleaned him down with soap and water. I picked him up and carried him to his bed. He moaned the entire way. When I had him under the covers I made my way over to my bed, stripping over and getting under the blankets.

"Why did you help me?" he asked. His voice indolent and intoxicated from the sleeping charm I had casted in the bathroom.

"Because I'm a good person," I teased, trying to ease the tension. After a few minutes he answered.

But I'm not granger," his voice was the serious tone he had used with me for years. I thought about how this time last year he had cast a voice changing charm on Ron that made him talk like a girl for a week. I thought about the ice he had made appear at the top of the Gryffindor staircase, causing most of my house to slip. But then I thought of the visits I used to have to his house on Saturday mornings. The food Narissa used to make, the way he held my hand through the long scary corridors to his sitting room, the endless games of Hide and Seek. I sighed.

"But you used to be."

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><p>Thanks for reading. Let me know what you think? I'd really like to hear from you guys!<p> 


	5. I'm Fine

Sorry about the Delay. But here's the next chapter! Gives a little insight to Draco's life too. Please Review I love you all :)

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><p>As usual when I woke Malfoy was gone. But this time I was a little surprised. Before making my way to potions I stopped by Madam Pomfrey's infirmary to see if maybe Malfoy has checked himself in last night.<p>

"Miss Granger?" a voice called when I entered the room. I spun around a little surprised.

"Oh, hello Madam Pomfrey," I smiled awkwardly; I hadn't expected to be caught snooping around. I took a quick glance around and saw Malfoy nowhere in sight. The only person in the infirmary was a 2nd year who had been poisoned by one of Fred and George's quick growing hair chewing gum. Her hair was streaming out of the bed from her head, nose, legs and armpits. She smiled sickly over at me.

"Can I help you with something?" Madam Pomfrey asked.

"Oh no thank you," I said, backing away with a smile. Awkwardly I left as quickly as possible.

My timer vibrated telling me I had 5 minutes to get to class. I pushed Malfoy from my mind, consolidating myself with that thought that he was probably already in potions.

I felt a two huge arm sling around my shoulders. Harry and Ron grabbed me in the hallway, leaning all their weight on me.

"Hey Hermione," Hey both laughed. I Shrugged them off with a giggle.

"What's wrong with the pair of ye?" I asked.

"Looking forward to next week's potions test?" I joked.

"Defiantly not!" Ron said, sounding almost offended.

"It's the Quidditch match between Slytherin and Griffindor!" Harry winked.

"Bout time we showed that ferret what he's really worth, don't you think?" Ron said grabbing my book bag and carrying it for me.

I had completely forgotten today was the big day Harry and Ron had been talking about for ages. Malfoy was a seeker, but there was no way in hell he'd be able to ride a broom after what happened last night.

"I hope he takes a bluger to the head!" Ron squealed.

"You shouldn't wish those kinds of things on people Ron. You wouldn't want them to happen to you, would you?" I asked, hoping also that I hadn't given myself away a little. I regretting it immediately after I said it.

"Of course I wouldn't want those things to happen to me Hermione, but come on, in all sense of the word I'm a somewhat decent person. But Malfoy…He's scum of the earth! Look at the way he's treated us over all the years. Look at the way he's treated you! He made mud come out of your nose as a 'mudblood' joke. He'll always be a cunt Hermione. He'll never change!" Ron argued. I merely nodded my head in agreement. I didn't want to fight. Ron smiled back a little apologetic for raising his voice. Maybe he was right? Would Malfoy ever change?

To no one's surprise -not even my own – Malfoy wasn't in Potions or any class that morning.

"He better not chicken out!" Harry said at lunch looking around. The Match was after Lunch and he and Ron were shaking with excitement. I couldn't help myself either; subconsciously I had searched the hallways for him. He was nowhere to be found.

Crab and Goyle sat at the Slytherin table with Blaise and Pansy. The spot where Malfoy normally sat was empty and Pansy caught me eying it up. To my wonder she didn't scowl at me. She had a questionable look upon her face, before I dropped my head down to my book.

"Don't tell me you're reading that again Hermione? Do you live with that book?" Harry asked, laughing as he turned the book away from me and towards himself.

"I enjoy Hogwarts; A History!" I stated, grabbing the book back.

"What more is there to know about the school, you already know everything?"

"Oi!" Ron said, elbowing Harry in the ribs.

"There's the Ferret now," Ron whispered as he made his way down the main hall.

I watched him argus-eyed and curious. My stomach dropped when I saw his face. It was badly bruised around his jaw and neck as if someone had tried to choke him. I swallowed deeply.

"Woah!" Ron said, smiling his head off.

"I see somewhere already stolen my idea of hitting him with a bludger!" Ron was smiling bigger than ever.

"Oh my," I whispered, barely audible. He was walking with a limp and his usual greased back hair was aloof and fluffy. I watched him run a rigid hand through his hair and wince and his sat down beside Pansy.

"Someone must have roughed him up good!" Harry said, giving his opinion.

"Bout time! Cunt deserves it!" Ron squealed with happiness.

"Ron! Language!" I barked.

I watched a Pansy interrogated him about his bruises and cuts. I could tell he was charming the questions off. He leaned in, kissing just below Pansy ear seductively. Her mouth shut instantly. The line of questions stopped. I saw him roll his eyes in thanks. He nipped at her neck and smiled his infamous charming smile before turning away from her to stare up at the professors. He scanned the line; stopping at what I could only guess was Dumbledore. He stared long and hard at him, his eyebrows creasing in confusion. When Dumbledore looked back at him Malfoy jolted and looked down. A look crossed Dumbledore's face that I didn't recognize and then it was gone.

"That Pansy really does look like a dog, I actually feel bad for Malfoy that he has to put up with that!" Ron whispered low, as if the Slytherin's could hear us over the noise of the hall.

"RON!" I warned.

"Okay! Okay! I'll stop," He smirked.

"Are you coming Hermione?" Ginny asked as we passed the entrance to the Quiddicth Players Room.

"I'll catch up with you! Save me a seat?" I asked, smiling at her. She looked a little doubtful but went on her way any ways. Scanning the halls for anyone I leaped over the half door into the Slytherin Players quarters. I had hoped that most of the players would be out on the pitch by now, but just in case I casted a distorted vision charm.

It smelt like sweat and smart remarks.

"Fuck!" A voice mumbled. It was the voice I had been looking for. But there was also another voice too.

"Come on Malfoy, what the fuck happened to you last night? Why won't you talk about it? Some first year beat you up?" Blaise chuckled. There was a bang and harsh quick breaths. I rounded the corner to see Malfoy pinning Blaise against the locker.

"Alright calm down man!" He said between breaths.

"I was only joking man." Malfoy dropped Blaise to the ground.

"Get out of my face!" He said through clenched teeth. Blaise picked himself up off the ground before falling out the door onto the pitch. Malfoy dropped down to the lockers, sliding down against them onto the floor. He gathers his legs and brought them up to his chest and hid his face in his knees. I watched him breathe deeply for a long time before I sat down beside him and lifted the charm.

"Why don't you tell me what really happened?" I whispered. Malfoy jumped, almost a foot into the air.

"Granger!" He panted in shock and out of breath.

"What the Fuck! Are you trying to make me crap my pants! What are you even doing in here?" He asked clutching his leg in pain. He went to rub his face in frustration as he sat back down but winced in pain. I lifted my hand to trail my fingers along his jaw line but he slapped my hand away.

"Don't!" he warned. I sighed, folding my hands on my lap.

"Get out of here! I want to be alone." He didn't curl up in a ball like before; he retained the act of being a superior Malfoy.

"Malfoy you're in no shape to play a match. I forbid you from going out there in your condition," I whispered, lacking confidence. Which was worsened when Malfoy burst out laughing.

"You _forbid_ me? Oh Granger, you make me laugh. What got you all worried about me all of a sudden? Don't tell me?" He laughed even harder, unable to choke it out.

"Don't tell me that you're in love with me?" he almost chocked on the laughter.

"I wouldn't stoop so low," I barked back. I hadn't meant to sound so mean, but it immediately silenced Malfoy's laughter. A harsh silence filled the room.

"I'm sorry," I whispered, bumping his knee slightly with mine. He chuckled a little.

"Why? You know it's true. I'm the world's biggest cunt and everyone knows it." He exhaled. And just like that the chanting began. The crowd outside began chanting Malfoy's name.

"They love you," I suggested.

"They love my status. No one really wants to be friends with the great Malfoy."

"I wouldn't want to be friends with Malfoy," I said, letting the silence drag before I added, "But maybe Draco." I got up without saying anything and left. I didn't watch the match; instead I went to the library to hide in my sanctuary.

**Draco's Point of View **

_More than 6 years ago. _

My dad clenched my shoulders hard.

"You remember what I said now Draco, about her and the rest of them?" his breath smelt of cigars as he slicked back a stray piece of hair. I nodded.

"That a boy," my father smiled down at me and I couldn't help smile back. Even if I wasn't going to play along with his ways. I was almost 12 I could make my mind up about blood status. Hermione was my friend and that was that.

My mother hugged me tighter than she ever had before I jumped on the train. She gave me a box of chocolates. I couldn't ignore the strange look on her face as she waved goodbye.

I was so nervous sitting in the compartment in the train. I had told Hermione to meet me in the 3rd last compartment of the train. I slicked back my hair and wiped the sweat of my hands by sliding them up and down my pants. The compartment door slid open and my heart raced.

"Can you smell them? I can! There stinking up the place with the filthy blood." A rather heavy boy laughed, followed by 3 other people who also laughed. I went to say something about this compartment being taken but they sat down before I could say anything.

"I saw one just there, she had a head of hair like a bush!" The other boy said. The girl sat in beside me and smiled.

"How's it going Draco?" she asked winking.

"How do you know my name?" I asked, worried. They all laughed.

"Everyone knows you?" She said a little confused.

"You're a Malfoy sure." The Dark skinned boy said. The all relaxed like we had known each other for years.

"I'm Blaise, this is Crab and Goyle and this is Pansy. Don't worry you'll get used to her!" Blaise said elbowing her in the ribs.

"Hey!" she complaining elbowing him back.

"I can't believe the filth there allowing attend this school. How can they expect us to mix with Mudblood scum? My father's furious. He wrote to the head of boards complaining about mixing purebloods and mudbloods. Its ridulious, I feel dirty even being on the same train as them!" Blaise said.

"Mudblood?" I asked, my eyebrows knitting together in confusion. They all looked at me a little shocked.

"Muggleborn kids? Witches and Wizards with non-magical parents," Pansy said, smiling a little too widely at me.

"Obviously you hate them too? Otherwise you wouldn't be a Slytherin!" Blaise laughed and everyone joined in.

"But we haven't even been sorted yet?" I said.

"Yeah, but when you know, you just know, and I know," Blaise winked.

I listened intensively to the rest of their conversation about 'mudbloods' and I knew instantly why my father had told me about it. I knew why he had forbidden me to see Hermione for the rest of the summer. In the slightest way his actions were almost preparing me for this. I now knew and understood the look on my mother's face as the train took off from the station. She knew this would happen and the decision I was going to have to make. And I knew, from the second the used the word 'mudblood' what I was going to have to do.

"Come on lets go find the idiot of a trolly lady, I'm starved!" Blaise said and Goyle and Crab practically jumped at the idiot.

"Coming Malfoy?" Pansy asked. I realized they were all calling me Malfoy. No one had ever called me that before. I nodded mechanically and followed.

I looked into all the compartments of everyone else, watching them smiling and laughing, making new friends and swapping childhood stories. Just letting Blaise, Crab, Goyle and Pansy into my a half an hour ago my compartment a half an hour ago I had –without knowledge- choosing my path. A blur of brown bumped into me, knocking me out of thought.

"There she is," Goyle laughed.

"Hello ugly, pick that bush up outta the earth and through it on your head?" Goyle sniggered.

Hermione whirled around, her hair brushing my neck and her smell bolting at me. It had been almost a month since I had last seen her. She ignored Goyle before turning back to me, and doing the unthinkable. She threw her arms around me and kissed my cheek. I froze underneath her. Within a second she caught on, froze slightly in my arms and backed up. I gave her a panicked look as Blaise and the rest of them stared at each other in shock. Hermione combed a hand nervously through her hair as her eyes stared deep into mind.

I knew if I was going to have the balls to do this I couldn't stare into her innocent eyes anymore. I looked away, took a deep breath and looked at Blaise.

"You know this piece of dirt?" Blaise asked in disbelief. I clenched my teeth together to stop myself from getting sick.

"Never seen this freak before in my life," I sniggered, pushing her away softly but roughly enough in hopes she'd just leave so I wouldn't have to do this.

She looked at me but I didn't dare look at her eyes. I saw a tear run down her cheek.

"You promised me! Draco?" she whispered my name. Blaise laughed, but looked at me severly as if to say he was bored with her and wanted to go.

"Can you smell something?" Pansy laughed.

"Come on Malfoy let's go! Finish up with your little 'friend'" Blaise said. I sighed inwardly and preformed like they wanted me too.

"We're not friends," I faked laughed. "She must be high on train fumes or something," I sniggered. I leaned in as close as I could to her ear, inhaling briefly her beautiful scent. I angled my body away from the guys so they couldn't see my face. I clutched her hand a little. I knew what I had to say to make her go away.

"Stay away from me…" I whispered harshly, loud enough for everyone to hear. "…you _filthy _little mudblood!" I spat. I moved away as quickly as my feet would let me. Blaise following at my wing.

"You not coming to get food?" Blaise asked, putting a hand on my shoulder, giving it a squeeze.

"I'll be there in a minute, I'm just going to the bathroom," I smirked, opening the bathroom compartment door and slipping in. As soon as the door was closed I dropped to my knees and got sick into the toilet.

There were many reasons why I did it. Not because of peer pressure. I knew that. The reason I had done it was because I could never subject Hermione to the life I was now destined to live. She could never handle the hate, the lies and the prejudice. I tried to console myself with the thought that I was protecting my friend but I began to think about never being able to talk to her again and the vomit came again. There was a bang on the compartment door.

"Malfoy? You okay?" Pansy sneered. I wanted more than ever to say no and go home to my mother but I had to begin the lies sometimes. So I started with the biggest and most common lie ever told.

"I'm fine."

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><p>Please Review! :)<p> 


	6. Memories

Hey Guys, so here's the next chapter in 'When we were young'

This chapter was inspired creately by this Dramione Youtube video .com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=zmiWnGZr1Vc#at=137

Did ye know that Draco was an Occlumens? I didn't but apparently he is.

_"...I think Draco would be very gifted in Occlumency, unlike Harry. Harry's problem with it was always that his emotions were too near the surface and that he is in some ways too damaged. But he's also very in touch with his feelings about what's happened to him. He's not repressed, he's quite honest about facing them, and he couldn't suppress them, he couldn't suppress these memories. But I thought of Draco as someone who is very capable of compartmentalising his life and his emotions, and always has done. So he's shut down his pity, enabling him to bully effectively. He's shut down compassion — how else would you become a Death Eater? So he suppresses virtually all of the good side of himself."_- J.K Rowling.

With a mixture of both. Here's my chapter. Review!

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><p>Chapter 6<p>

_Hermione point of view._

The next morning I wake up earlier than normal. It's 6am and Malfoy isn't in his bed. I begin to wonder does he ever really sleep here. But I know he does. It's the first thing I smell when I enter the dormitory.

I got to the kitchen to make breakfast, leaving a bowl of porridge aside charming with a heating spell in case Malfoy comes back and is hungry. I see a envelope with Malfoy's name on it on the counter. When I check for its content I find it empty. Probably a letter from his mother I think. But then I think of his injuries again. In fact I thought about them all night. I can't help but feel like I am missing the bigger picture. Something has happened to Malfoy.

Later that day I spend time with Harry and Ron in the Griffindor common room. Ron is begging me to write his potions paper for Snape. Of course I agree. Anything to take my mind of things. Harry leans over slightly revealing the Marauders Map.

"Don't tell me you're looking at that thing again?" I sigh.

"Do you ever put it away? I can't believe you haven't handed it in yet!"

"Are you mad women? Hand it in! That's a gold mine that there is!" Ron states. I laugh and ignore him.

"Who could you possibly be looking at?" I ask.

"Malfoy," Harry says somewhat crookedly.

"What's he up to this time?" Ron asks Harry. Something in their voices tells me that this is a common occurrence and my heart drops a little.

"He's with Snape," harry says again his voice is different. Lower.

"It's happened," Harry says closing the map and tucking it away. He turns to us at the table and lowers his head.

"He's one of them. I know it!"

"One of who?" I ask desperately trying to understand.

"Draco Malfoy Is now a Death Eater."

_Draco's point of view. _

Snape stares down at me with a purposeful look upon his face.

"You know why you're here," he said matter of factly, already knowing the answer. I merrily nodded.

"Now, are you familiar with occlumency?" He asked, moving around the room.

"No?"

"Occlumency is the magical defence of the mind against external penetration. An obscure branch of magic, but a highly useful one. The first step we will attempt is clearing one's mind. Making it "blank and empty" — in order to prevent a Legilimens from perceiving one's emotions and thoughts," he explained.

"Used properly it can create a barrier and stop a Legilimens from entering. Later I will teach you to choose the memories you want to hide."

I shift awkwardly against the wall. Father had not said what I would be here for. Only that It was of mass importance. With a swiss of his dark coat Snape raised his wand.

"Prepare yourself," he said. I panicked.

"Wait, what am I supposed to do?" I asked, wiping the sweat off my hands.

"Empty yourself of all emotion. Blank your mind Draco," he says horridly before it begins.

"Legilimens!" he shouts.

My body jolts only slight as it starts. At first it's a rush of colour and white noise before materializing into people and sound. First came my mother bursting into a brilliant red colour and disappearing before she's manifested again against the tree in our back garden. She's smiling and holding my father's hand. I'm crying in the memory because they're smiling and happy together and I feel lonely. I can't help but feel these are private and I try harder and harder to resist but more and more images flash before my eyes.

"Stop please!" I beg.

"I told you to empty yourself of emotion! ... Fools who wear their hearts proudly on their sleeves, who cannot control their emotions, who wallow in sad memories and allow themselves to be provoked this easily — weak people," Snape said harshly.

More images of my childhood flash. They move almost too fast for me to comprehend, until something happens and the air feels different. The images slow and change to black before slowly coming to a brown colour. The image focus onto a head of brown curls and my heart drops. I drop to my knees using all my energy to make it stop but it comes coming faster and faster until the image focuses on her face and I know he's seen. The next memories come and there's nothing I can do to stop them. The memories come and Snape knows my inner secrets. Snape knows now I'm not the boy I've been pretending to be the last 6 years. Of all people Snape knows. He knows everything.

I see her the first day on the train. I see her face crying before it changes to an older version smiling. The angle of the memory drifts out and I see her in a pink dress. It's the yule ball. I panic but can't do anything about it. I see myself staring at her all night, watching her dancing with every guy. The memories jump and faded before refocusing on Pansy face the first time we had sex. I feel sick as hell. She drifts off and fades back to Granger. She laughing and smiling holding Harry and Ron in a hug the first day back in 4th year. She's kissing Krum behind the school after hours. She is doing Ron's potions homework in the great hall. She's punching me in the face in 3rd year. She running to class bumping into me by accident. She's holding Ron's hand in the hallway. She's sitting at his hospital bed when I hit him with a bludger in Quidditch. She's kissing my cheek when I'm 7. She's smiling brillantly as my mother combs her hair with a fine comb. She's twirling in the Head Dormitories when she thinks I'm not looking. She's everywhere and there's nothing I can do about it. I can't hide her. I see every girl I've ever slept with fading in and out between Grangers face. I see her at the lake behind the manor, she's 8 and we're jumping in, back when we were young. I see her face against the moonlight as she sleeps in the head dormitory only a few nights ago. I feel terribly ashamed as it plays out in front of Snape. I had watched her because I couldn't sleep. I flash up then, smiling the Slytherin way as I call her a filthy Mudblood. Something happens then. It's as if every time I've called her a Mudblood suddenly merges into one as I hit the wall. But then she appears again, tall and proud, smiling. And I see myself crying into the sink at the Manor.

Snape drops the spell and I shield my face from his view. My breathing is fast and painful. He doesn't say anything and for a while I'm grateful. I know I can't lie. I would just embarrass myself further. I gather myself off the floor and stand tall and proud like a Malfoy should.

"You can go Mr. Malfoy," Snape says, turning away from me. With a slight turn of his face I can see his expression. He looks ashamed. I bow my head.

"But what about the lesson?" I ask, even though I'm too embarrassed to continue.

"Just leave," he says a certain level of sadness in his voice.

"I'm sorry," I say as I turn to leave. As I reach the door he clears he's throat.

"Mr. Malfoy…" he says as I turn.

"Yes?"

"If I were you I'd take these lesson very seriously if you don't want the ones you care about to suffer. I would also take into consideration the side in which you have chosen to stand. It's a hard line to walk…" he says, whispering towards the end.

"…and when you walk it, you walk alone."

I march out before he can say anything else.

When I return to the dormitory I break down. I kick in the door to find Granger staring sacredly at me from behind a book.

"THIS IS YOUR FAULT!" I scream, grabbing a table and throwing it against the wall. She stares at me horror struck, but I don't stop. I throw the chairs across the room and the break against the cold rock walls. I kick in the bookcase and Granger winces.

"Draco what's wrong?" she yells, terrified. I kick in the bookcase again in anger.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT! I'M NOT DRACO ANYMORE YOU STUPID BITCH. I'M NOT HIM ANYMORE. GET THAT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!" I bellow out. I go into the bedroom and kick in anything that I can see until I feel a weight on my back.

"GET OFF ME!" I scream as Granger jumps on my back trying to make me stop. I throw her down on my bed and it collapses beneath the weight and force of the throw. She looks ruffled and frightened. But also she looks younger, years younger and I can't help but hate her for it.

"Please stop!" she begs, beginning to cry.

"Oh here we go again!" I say storming back into the sitting room. She follows.

"Please," she begs again, reaching for my hand. I pull away harshly.

"DON'T!" I cry. An intense look crosses her face and she moves behind the couch and grabs her bag. She throws it on the broken counter top and runs to the bedroom. When she returns, she carrying a set of clothes, tooth brush, pjs, and her books. She puts them in the bag and slings them over her shoulder.

"What are you doing?" I ask, a little scared to be left alone. She gives me a pitiful look, wrinkling her nose in disgust.

"Fuck you Malfoy," she whispers before leaving. Her hair bouncing brilliant as she sways away. My heart drops down to my toes but I think maybe it's just me digesting some food, because even I don't believe I have a heart anymore.

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><p>Thanks for reading! I was wondering,<strong> is everyone okay with the pace of this story?<strong> Am I going to slow? Would you like the romance to come quicker? Give me your thoughts on how the story is going PRETTY PLEASE?


	7. Understanding

Sorry it took so long to update. I had real trouble with this chapter and I'm not really happy with the outcome and that's why it took so long to update. I couldn't get it right. But I decided to just post it.

Let me know what you think.

And also if you're a **tumblr member follow me on whentheleaveschange(dot)tumblr(dot)com and my Dramione Blog on takemetotheburrow(dot)tumblr(dot)com**

It's not edited yet so I'll get around to it!

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><p><strong>Hermione Granger's Point of View<strong>

I bolted up in the bed to the sound of a walrus being strangled.

"Don't worry it's only Ron," a voice said from the corner of the room. I turned, pulling the sheets tight up to my chest. Seamus sat upright in his bed, leaning back against the head board with his knees raised to his chest. A magazine peeked out over the top of his knees, and to my disbelief the pictures weren't moving. The Irish flag was visible in the top right hand corner beside the word 'Hurling'. It was a sports magazine. Seamus noticed me looking.

"It's got nothing on Qudditch but I'm still a man," he smirked. I smiled back as his eyes returned to his magazine. I gathered the blanket in my hands and took in the room. Dean was barely visible bellow his duvet and Ron was snoring like a dying Walrus on the floor beside me. But Harry, Harry was gone and that both surprised and scared me. Even I was up early for me. I tried to console myself thinking maybe he just couldn't sleep and went for a walk. Seamus seemed to notice my distress.

"He eventually turns up, don't worry," he smiled. I breathed a little. That meant Harry was often absent from his bed.

I got dressed quickly in the bathroom and made my way to the Great Hall. It was still extremely early so only a few people were there. Luna Lovegood sat by herself along with some Ravenclaw girls and 2 Slytherin boys who I were surprised to see awake this early. I went to sit beside Luna when I noticed Harry sitting alone at the end of the table eating some toast. I smiled at Luna as I told her I'd be back to sit with her in a minute. She smiled blankly as is not hearing me.

"Harry?" I asked, sliding into the bench beside him. He looked shocked to see me.

"Hermione hello," he said, his voice a little husky.

"Harry what are you doing up so early?" I asked, taking a food from each of the food groups to ensure I'd have enough energy for the day.

"When I woke up you weren't there?" I asked again, not giving him a chance to even answer my first question.

"Yeah I was…"

"…and Seamus said that you'd turn up, and here you are! Where were you?" I fumed.

"Hermione, let me finish," Harry said.

"I was following Malfoy all night," Harry whispered, head low to the table. His eyes darting around to make sure no one was listening. My heart started to pound a little. I clenched my fingers tightly around a piece of toast as he continued.

"After I saw you leave the 6th floor and make your way towards our tower I knew something was wrong so I followed him."

"You followed him? " I asked.

"Yeah, on the Marauder's Map." Harry said.

"It was strange…" Harry continued. "He stayed in the dormitories a while after you left then he made his way down the hallway and just disappeared for like 2 hours."

"Disappeared?" I said, making sure I had understood him properly.

"Yeah, for ages. Then he just appeared again. Walked the hallways for ages and now…" Harry said taking out the parchment and open it slightly, whispering the proper spell. He covered most of it with his arm. But no one was really looking.

"…he's in, well, making his way back from the Ravenclaw dormitories. He spent the rest of the night there in the girls dormitories."

"He hooked up with a Ravenclaw?" I asked, trying to make my voice sound even.

"Seems like it. Not what you'd expect huh? Must be getting desperate if Pansy won't sleep with him," Harry sniggered. He quickly scrunched up the parchment shoving it in his pocket as more people began to wake up. Just as he crumpled up the parchment I noticed Malfoy entering our dormitories.

After Transfiguration, Professor McGonagall kept me back.

"Is something wrong Professor?" I asked, as she made her way back behind her desk.

"No, no dear. There is nothing wrong, I was just wondering how you're getting on with your Head Girl duties?" she asked, shovelling papers around her desk.

"Oh, em, yeah everything is fine. I'm keeping up with everything quite well actually. I enjoy tutoring a lot." I smile.

"I've noticed you've signed in everyday for your tutoring session and you've also signed in for Mr Malfoy's session aswell?" McGonagall states, sliding the tutor session sheet towards me. I notice my handwriting signing off Malfoy name on his side of the sheet. I blush.

"Why? May I ask are you signing off Mr Malfoy's name? Is he not holding up his side of the bargain? Is he not completing his share of the work?" McGonagall asked the tone of her voice accusing. I became worried as she began to gather her own opinion of the situation as she took back the tutor sheet.

"No, no, that's not it!" I said, rather loudly. McGongall jumped a little.

"I changed with him. He took over walking rounds at night in exchange for letting me tutor, because I asked him. Because I really enjoyed tutoring and wasn't too fond of walking rounds." I lied.

McGongall nodded with a questionable look upon her face.

"You wouldn't be just covering up for Mr Malfoy's laziness now would you Ms Granger?" Professor McGonagall dared.

"No of course not," I lied, again. I stood up from the chair, grabbing my books and bag. "Well I have to go; I can't be late for potions."

"One last thing Ms Granger, I want to see Mr Malfoy doing the assigned work he is supposed to do from now on. No more switching! So I expect to see his signature of the tutor sheet tomorrow morning. Am I clear?"

I nod.

"Good. Have a nice day then Ms Granger." She says with a slight smirk as I stumble out the door.

**Draco Malfoy's Point of View. **

Granger stumbles into Potions late and Snape deducts 20 points from Gryffindor. She sighs and sits beside Weasel. Ginger prick.

I try to focus on the assignment all during class, figuring it would earn me some extra points with Snape and I might gain some credit after what happen during my occulmency lesson. But I can't help look over when I hear her laugh. She's laughing at Weasel's potion, which is overflowing and melting the cauldron. When she notices me looking she clenches her teeth and looks away.

_Fuck. Everything._

"Can we just take a break? My head is killing me?" I stammered, my legs shaking as I lean against the back wall.

"There are no breaks in the real world Mr Malfoy! And when the Dark Lord sees what in your head he'll kill you." Snape spat.

"Separate your emotions. Do what you do best and feel nothing!" Snape warns before he screams the words again.

I feel the heat sore up my back before I fall to the ground. My legs felt skinny and unable to support my weight. And then, it began again.

Colour. Light. White noise. Screams. Laughter. Her.

The moment she flashed up Snape stopped. I felt relief wash over me. But anger flooded my eyes as I knew Snape was going to start lecturing me.

To my disbelief he starts to laugh. Blood boils under my skin as I scrape myself up of the ground. Trying to regain some dignity.

"Again…" he begins to say.

"No," I scream, pulling my wand out of my back pocket.

"Your fucking turn!" I shout. "Legilimens!"

I feel the force shoot up my arm and straight to my brain. The images begin.

It blurs a bit before focusing. I see a red headed girl skipping down the steps of Hogwarts. She smiles, her cheeks rising crinkling the skin below her piercing green eyes. The memory seems to blur out and when it focuses again the girl is older, a teenager. She is holding the hand of a young man. He looks almost familiar. That's when I see Snape. He's watching from behind a tree as they walk the grounds. He looks almost the same as he does now. Dark robes. Black greasy hair. Crooked nose. I wince when I see his facial expression. The angle drifts out to the trees and darkens to brighten again in a place that to my knowledge isn't Hogwarts. It's a house. But something's wrong. There are shards of broken wood falling down the stairs as the memory drifts up them. The stairs are black with dirt and dust. It's late. The house is dark. The angle drifts up to a man lying still as death on the ground. As it drifts over his face I realize he is dead. It's the same man from earlier, only older. The angle drifts into a bedroom. The wall paper is falling off the wall and the furniture is broken and scattered around the floor. I hear a child's cry before I see the red haired women lay cold and dead on the floor.

"Sev," I hear a girls voice whisper. The memory falls quick and fades to black.

I drop my wand and fall back.

"How dare you!" Snape screams, gathering himself.

"Get out of my sight!" I can't move.

"Who was that?" I ask, picking up my wand.

"None of your business! Now get out of my sight!" Snape shouts, turning away from me. I turn to leave with it hits me. The man. His glasses.

"Potter?" I whisper. I see Snape freeze.

"Lily Potter, Muggle born," I state, stopping at the door. Snape turns around with a furious look on his face.

"Let's laugh at your memories shall we!" He shrieks. "Legilimens!"

But this time my body doesn't shake. The memories don't begin. Because this time I see Granger where Lily was, lying cold and dead on the ground. But Snape doesn't see it and that's what matters.

**Hermione Granger's Point of View**

"So do you want too?" Ron asks as we walk back from the Great Hall.

"That would be nice Ron, but I have to tutoring first. Maybe afterwards? I'll call down to the common room, okay?" I say. Ron smiles bigger than I've ever seen him smile before.

"Okay," he says, trying to lessen his smile. I can't help but laugh back.

"I have to go get Malfoy now," I say as I turn to leave. He simply smiles and stumbles off like a drunken child.

I climb the stairs to the 6th floor dreading having to talk to Malfoy after what happened last night. When I turn the corner near our dormitory I smell it, a strong pungent odour. Alcohol.

I stall at the door, lean forward a bit to listen. I hear a young girl's laughter followed by a lot of movement.

"Oh Draco," the girl giggles and laughs. _Fuck _

I whisper the password before I enter. I knock loudly and hear loud muffled sounds from the girl before I make my way through the hallway into the sitting room. I call Malfoy's name.

"Granger, so glad you could join us? Now we have enough for a threesome!" Malfoy says, his voice slurred. That's when I see him, lunging out on the couch, his shirt ripped open. A Ravenclaw girl is gathering her clothes next to him.

"Oh don't go! Em….Cla….I can't remember your name but don't go!" Malfoy laughs. The girl looked extremely pissed as she pushes past me. I smirk.

"That the Ravenclaw you slept with last night?" I smirk, picking up the rubbish he's thrown on the floor and smelling the brownbagged bottle he's drinking from.

"Firewhiskey?" I comment.

"How'd you know I slept with her," Malfoy slurred again before hiccupping. He slides of the couch and flops on the floor like a wet fish.

"You're drunk Malfoy! Typically when I need you!"

"You need me huh?" he says into the ground. I walk over and pick him up of the ground, throwing him back onto the couch.

"McGongall called me back today to comment on how you've never signed in on your tutoring lessons," I say.

"Thought you were signing my name for me?" He asks. I freeze.

"How'd you know that Malfoy?" I ask. For all I knew was that Malfoy had never even seen the tutoring sheet before. He points to his nose and winks.

"Guess we both know things," he smirks. "Like how you and Weasel have a 'date' tonight. If that's what you want to call it," he chuckles. I blush scarlet red.

"That's none of your business Malfoy. At least I go on dates. I don't just jump into bed with every person who gives me the eye. I'm not as desperate as you are!" I retort.

"How dare you talk to me like that? I am not desperate! I could have any girl I wanted in this school. Any girl would be so lucky!" Malfoy lifts himself up of the couch shakily. He then glowers down at me. The famous Malfoy glower.

"Sit down before you fall over," I snort, pushing him back towards the chair. I feel his hand clench over my wrist. He pulls me close.

"I could have any girl I wanted," he whispers close to my face. He smells of firewhiskey and something sweet I can't put my finger. He drags his face closer to mine.

"Malfoy please leave me go," I murmur. "I have tutoring now, and I'm going to have to make a better attempt at your signature if we're nothing going to get into trouble tomorrow. Oh and by the way, what was all that yesterday? Huh?" I say, slurring out everything nervously the closer her gets.

"I could have you if I so pleased," his voice is soft as he dips his head towards my neck. And then, like all the years haven't past, he leans in and kisses my neck. My knees go weak and he has to support my weight alone with his own drunken weight.

"Told you," he says, sniggers slightly. I felt ashamed. Ashamed that I've let him have any effect on me. I push him away and he drops back to the couch, a cocky smile playing out on his face. I pace the ground.

"You know I always wonder what happened. What made you such an asshole, a dipshit and a fucking wanker!" I scream. He rolls over, throwing off his shirt and stares up at me with a smirk.

"Do continue Granger, I love it when you're mad," he says.

"It's like none of it meant anything to you! That first day I thought maybe, JUST maybe it was all a joke! That you'd come find me afterwards and say you were just messing! But you didn't! You stayed with those lowlife you call friends, and you left me, alone." At this point I'm crying. I cry harder because I'm so ashamed that I'm crying in front of him. He leans up from the couch to access my face. He stands up again, bare chested and shaky.

"I hate you Malfoy," I murmur through the tears.

"Join the club," he sniggers. My fists clench in anger as I step forward. I bring my right arm back and send it flinging into Malfoy's Jaw. The contact echoes through the room. He steps back, but doesn't fall. I flex my fingers through the pain.

"You always did have a great right punch," he laughs settling back into the seat. The punch has seemed to sober him up a bit.

"I'm sorry," I say, embarrassed as I move beside him to access the damage. The bruise is already forming.

"Don't be. Everyone deserves a punch in the face every now and again."

I reach forward and brush his jaw gently. He flinches. He eyes roll back in his head slightly as I remember he's still drunk.

"Let's get you to bed," I say picking him up. He doesn't object as we stumble towards the bedroom. I stand him next to his bed. My hands are shaky as they reach down to undo his belt. I stop when I see it's already undone.

"She was a cat that Ravenclaw," he winks. I blush and pull down his pants as he steps out of them.

"I knew you always wanted to get me naked," he smirks. "When's it my turn to return the favour," he asks, displaying a cocky grin. I can't help but blush even more. I've just punched him in the face and he's trying to play the charm. Typical Malfoy. But the fact that it's me he's trying to chat up has my heart pounding.

"Never, due to the fact that no less than 10 minutes ago did you have your hands all over an older Ravenclaw girl. I'm nobody 2nd best," I say, pulling the covers up around him.

"You know you will always be my number 1," he says pulling me down on top of him.

"Malfoy stop!" I protest as he flips around pinning me down to the bed.

"This is wrong!"

"Who says?" he smirk, leaning into my neck.

"You did, for 6 whole years! Every single day you reminded me," I shout trying to push him off me. His hands move under my top and settle on my stomach. And all I can think is that I've never had a guy touch me like this before.

"Stop, please," I plea. He leans up from my neck and smiles at me in a different way. A way he hasn't smiled in years.

And then to my disbelief he leans in and kisses me. He captures my mouth in his and holds my face in his hands. His breaks a way for a moment, his breathing rigid and hoarse. Before I can say anything he's kissing me again. He picks me up from the bed into a sitting position and pulls me onto his lap, wrapping my legs around his waist. I can't move. I push against his chest but it only makes him pull me closer. Before I know it I feel his tongue in my mouth. I can't think. I've never kissed with tongue before. He runs his hands up and down my back before cupping my breasts. I through myself back and slapped him hard across the face. I wipe the side of my mouth. His smile is so big.

"How dare you!" I shout, climbing off his bed, flatting down my skirt.

"Don't pretend you didn't enjoy that Granger! I could tell! I know when a girl is enjoying being kissed and you were enjoying that," he smiles.

"Don't you ever touch me again!" I say backing out of the room.

"Granger," Malfoy calls when I'm at the bedroom door. I stop, catch my breath and turn.

"What?" I call back in anger.

"I just want to let you know that I'll be here all night," he says yawning into his pillow.

"Why?"

"Because when Weasel leans in to kiss you tonight and you're disappointed, you'll know where to find me."

And with that he turns over and pulls the duvet up around him.

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><p>Please review :) Let me know what you think. Are you mad I rushed things?<p> 


	8. 100 days

I can't get over how long it has been since I've posted a new chapter of this. I thought it was last year. Not two years ago. I mean I first started writing this in 2011! THATS CRAZY! I just lost motivation for this story but I didn't think it was that long ago!

Anyways for some reason I wrote a new chapter. Not sure why. It's also terribly shit because I haven't wrote in like a year and my skills are just terrible. The writing is very bland and boring sorry. I'm trying to get back into writing now.

Anyways, if you feel like reviewing do. If not I don't blame you sinces its been forever since I've updated

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><p>0.273 years,<p>

3.285 months,

14.285 weeks,

100 days.

**Hermione's Point of View.**

I feel the draw of his index finger along my knuckle.

It's distracting. I want to pull away but it's unwise to do so. My throat is dry. It hurts.

Harry catches my gaze. I look down guilty. He knows.

He knows.

**Draco's Point of View.**

I feel the draw of the wand against my index finger.

It burns. I want to stop but I can't. My head is full of heavy thoughts. It hurts.

Bellatrix smirks at my moment of discomposure. I look away. She knows.

She knows.

**Hermione's Point of View.**

Harry watches me a lot lately. I often find myself faltering under his gaze. The weight of it has no numerical value, just heaviness in my heart that pulls my chest down. I slouch against its pull.

I drift away from it all. Back to home. Back to the feel of...

Caught by the light, aware but asleep.

**Draco's point of view.**

"You've disappointed me. You are no son of mine."

I watch as he stands up from the dinner table and leaves. I stare at my untouched food on the table, resting on top of our finest china, the elegant curve of the silverware beside it. The table cloth is more expensive than the entire weasel household.

I feel the tight squeeze of my mother's slender fingers against my wrist and a flash of brunette hair before the darkness envelopes me.

**Hermione's point of view.**

"You have to tell him mione. It's not fair on him. He's clueless." Harry whispers, stroking my arm slightly.

How do I tell him that I have no words. That lately I know less words now than I did when I was three. They feel strange in my mouth. A language I don't understand.

I've lost my grip. On everything.

"Hermione...Did you ever care about Ron? In the way he cares about you?" Harry's voice carries out over the lake. I hear the water lapping just slightly below us. I want to lean down and listen to the words it's whispering to me. I want someone else to tell me the answers I've always known since I could first hold a book.

I think if I could drift to the bottom of the lake I would feel no new pressure from the water as the pressure I currently feel would equal out the water pressure.

I sometimes think of drowning.

**Draco's point of view.**

"Legilimens"

Nothing appears. The task of it doesn't take any effort anymore.

"You've improved greatly Draco. I want to teach you how to hide certain thoughts and memories from the dark lord and whoever may at any point decide to randomly search your mind, or question your loyalty to their cause."

Snape moves to the window.

"You know I worked for the Dark Lord for some time. He used to come to my house at night and search my mind while I was sleeping. Or while he thought I was sleeping."

I watch snapes silhouette move around the dusky room. He is so silent I sometimes forget he's even in the room.

On the outside I'm calm, collected. My stance is strong and with a questionable intimidation.

On the inside I feel swollen. My body is too full of blood. I want to cut a giant hole in my heart and just let a little leak out.

"Draco are you listening?" Snape asks from the window. I notice his warm breath has softened some of the cool icicles forming on the glass.

"Do you understand what I'm saying? What I'm going to teach you now?" Snape's eye brows knit together as he leans across the table at me. There's a new expression on his face that's a mix of emotions he hasn't showed me before.

"I'm going to teach you how to hide thoughts of her."

At the mention of her she flashes before my eyes. Snape whips up and yells the spell I subconsciously knew he would.

"Legilimens"

She appears and I'm to weak to stop it.

There's colors that I've never even experienced in my life before. There's sounds that are so wholly her it hurts. And then, as always...

It begins with her laugh.

She's undressing in the dormitories a month ago. I'm watching her but she doesn't see me. I had cast a disillusionment charm. I see the curves of her body as she slips into bed. The soft up rise of her chest as she sleeps.

Her hand in weasels as he parades her proudly around the hallways. The bags under her eyes in potions. The smell of her hair as she brushes past me, making her way to her seat. The swell of her breasts when she takes off her over coat on a unusually warmer day.

Her lips. Her lips. Her lips again. Perfectly curved, pink and blush. My hungry lips devouring hers in possibly the only time I'll ever get to kiss her. Besides the chaste kiss we had when we were 8 under the cherry blossom tree in west court.

My hands slid over her breasts as I pull her slender body on top of mine in the bed. My tongue slides into her warm, wet mouth and I float above the water. I'm no longer drowning.

There is a split second when her tongue rolls back into my mouth. It is the shortest time I have ever known in my 18 years. But I clutch onto it with everything I have.

It is the string that holds me above the Pitts of darkness. It is the only reason I haven't fallen.

"Draco," she whispers. I breathe it in.

My knees finally give in.

Sweet darkness. Relief.

**Hermiones point of view.**

I search for him in the hallways most days but rarely find him, and look away when I do. Days that's I find him it's slightly easier to breath. Days that I don't, I manage.

**Draco's Point of view.**

One single drop of sweat runs down my back when I see snape running towards me in the darkened hallway.

"I was going to do the homework snape I just been busy I swear I'll have it for tomorrow," I scream backing away. He rips me from the corner and yanks on my arm harder than any teacher ever should. I yell out in pain and push against his hand. His nails cut into me.

Snape pulls me into his classroom. The shutters are closed and little light escapes through their clutches into the stuffy room.

"What the fuck! Don't fucking do that to me," I scream when he eventually releases his grip on my arm. I access the damage only to discover two deep holes etched into my arm.

"You fucking better not be a werewolf or a snake or anything cause I really don't have time for that-

The words stop in my throat, caught on fear on the way up.

Snapes face is a mask. A mask of a man I don't know. A man who shows sympathy, and pain, and empathy.

I step back into the cool wall behind me. Trying to let the fear drain out of me and into the wall but it only builds.

A sparkle catches my attention. I look towards his open palm, a diamond ear ring sits in the center. He eyes it once before accessing my reaction. Trying to see if I understand. It isn't long before I catch on.

The surface of the wall is uneven as I hit it when I fall to my knees. Snape quickly blurs against my tears. My face grows wet as he leaves the room, closing the door behind him. I don't stop the screams when they come. Nor does snape come back to silence me.

**Hermione's point of view.**

The hand the grips my shoulder is not one I'm accustomed too. The faces of my friends around the table second the notion that this isn't someone who usually approaches me.

When I turn around to find Snapes cold, pale hand on my shoulder my eyes immediately dart to the Slytherin table. He isn't there. I turn a questioning glance back to Snape who gives me a look we haven't ever come close to sharing before.

"Miss Granger, come with me." Is all he says as he grabs my arm, pulling me up from the table. Ron and Harry call after me, as Snape drags me away.

In the empty hallway I speak not as a student. I follow as a child. Along the sinuous stream of hallways, my stomach churning more with each corner. Snapes footsteps are so silent I think I'm imagining him. In my haze I bump into as he stops outside his classroom.

"Snap-

"It's Draco, his mothers just been killed."

Snape says the words and the world that I lived in before I felt his cold grip on my shoulder drifts away as if insignificant. A new world crushes forward, breaking from the earth, into darkness. A world with no Narcissa Malfoy. A world in which snape knows of Draco and I.

"He's in the classroom now. I've just told him."

"But professor? What am I doing here?" I lie. Badly.

Snape raises and eyebrow at me and sighs before turning and walking away.

**Draco's point of view.**

Against the blurriness I see movement. A blackness approaches me. A weight drops beside me against the wall. A beautiful smell fills my nose. I think of home.

"Draco," she cries, a warm hand brushes the tears from my eyes and I see her leaning against the wall beside me. Her face is just as breath taking against the dim light. Tears run down her face as she brushes the fly away hairs away from my face. She speaks no words of comfort and I'm grateful. Instead she crawls onto my lap and wraps her arms around my neck and buries her face into my neck, crying heavily.

She whispers my name over and over again into my neck. She is the only thing in the world that could keep me afloat right now.

"Hermione," I whisper, my voice a hoarse impression of my voice before. She pulls back from my neck, leaning back against my thighs. Her wild hair has stuck to the tears and wetness that has covered her entire face. I brush it back over her ears and down over her shoulders. I can't help but smile as she cries more trying to rub away the snot on her nose. Her face is soft and wet and her lips are pink. I brush my thumbs over the bags under her eyes. Crying has turned her eyes a lighter shade of brown.

"God, you're so beautiful," I murmur. Not sure if I actually spoke. But she laughs. She laughs so hard I think I might cry at the sound of it. She laughs, leaning in close to me again. Her head of curls resting on my shoulder. I hold her tightly in my grip, rocking her back and forth.

"Hermione?" I ask, louder this time. A fresh stream of tears running down my face. The weight of her gaze makes my insides sweat.

"Can we go back?"

"Back Draco?" she questions. She falls forward, hitting her head a little to hard against mine. But she stays. She stays with her forehead leaning against mine.

"Back to when we were young? Just for tonight?" I beg, unable to grasp any hold on the tears falling freely.

She smiles.

"Tell me none of it was real and we can go back." She whispers. Her mouth just inches from mine. I feel her hot breath on my tongue and I want nothing more than to taste her sweetness against me. I want to feel the softness of her cheek against my mouth. I want her.

I know what she means and I know what she's asking. But if I say those words everything I've worked for the last 6 years will disappear and she knows that. Everything I've done to protect her. Every wall I've built between us will fall as if made of glass.

I try to lean into her warmness but she pulls back slightly and I know she'll keep pulling back until I say it. She wipes away the tears from my face but it's useless, fresh ones find the old ones path nonetheless.

"Drac-

"None of it was real," I say. "I lied. I've been lying to you for the last 6 years."

I lean into her warmness finally. Her mouth is an oasis in the hottest desert and I drink it in. She is heroine in the needle and I'm not ashamed of it. I desperately kiss her until I can't taste anything that isn't her. My hands knot in her hair as I pull her greedily closer. She pulls back, placing a finger on my mouth.

"Why?" she asks, tears forming in her eyes again.

"I wanted to keep you safe. I wanted to keep you alive. Safe and Alive means away from me." I try to pull her lips back to mine but again, her hands push against my chest.

"Hermione it's not an easy thing to expla-

"I'm in love with you."

The words. I watch as the tears drip off of her chin onto my lap. They form a wet circle on my pants.

"Hermione don't say th-

"I have been since we were young." She speaks words of ice against the heat of a fire.

"Hermione, please. I can't let anything come of this. My world is not a world for you."

"Is it true?" She screams, clenching her slightly bucked teeth together.

"is what-

"ARE YOU A DEATH EATER?"

My heart sinks. It's not something that's a shock to anybody else but her. Everyone had known my father was a death eater and naturally thought I would be one too.

I don't answer but it's answer enough for her. To my surprise she leans her head slowly towards mine, touching her forehead against mine before slipping her lips close to my ear.

"I love you, Draco Malfoy. I always will."

It's in the moment that I think she alone can change the world. She could stop this war. Hermione Granger. Forget Potter, or Weasel. I believe she could do it. That determination and the look in her eyes could change the world.

Hours later we find our way back to our dormitory. Back to my bed. I find her heat and her warmth and I savour it for hours. She says my name just like she did in the classroom but this time it's faster and more demanding. When she falls off of me, heavy. I say the words I've only ever told my mother and she smiles, her eyes heavy and bright. She tells me she knows. She tells me she's always known.

I tell her all the words she wants to hear. I tell her all the words I want to tell her. I tell her everything. Everything that I've ever wanted to say. I tell her it all. I tell her again and again those three words until I fall asleep and even in my dreams I tell her.

I say the things and ask things of her I know I shouldn't. But she agrees to all of them.

When I think she's sleeping I ask her never to leave. I ask her to stay. I tell her I need her. I tell her she's the only thing that I've been living for.

When I'm just about to fall asleep she whispers one last thing. The final words. The ones that changed everything.

"Make your mother proud Draco."

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><p>It's like 3am where I am now so I'm sorry it's so shit and there is probably a DOZEN of grammer and spelling mistakes but what can you expect huh? I'm a 20 year old whos drinking coke scrolling tumblr at 3am haha<p>

Anyways review if you want.

Love you all :)


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